Building Paris

Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day…Neither Was Paris!

Posts Tagged ‘excuses’

Why we blame others

Posted by Jeremy Paris on April 8, 2009

My son was on “yellow” today at school.  For those of you who don’t know, there is a daily discipline chart for 1st graders that uses the colors of a street-light to tell the parents if they were good (green), bad (red), or somewhere in between (yellow).   Back in my day they had a similar chart, but it was black and blue…and it was on your backside.  If you were bad your chart would be black and blue…but I digress.

I asked him why he was on yellow and immediately he started with “…well Johnny was the one who…”.  You get the idea.  I then asked him why every time I question him why he’s not on green his answer is always due to someone else.  Reply “…but it really was Johnny”.  This made me start thinking about whether blaming someone or something else is a learned trait, or are we born with this skill genetically imprinted in our brains the way that dogs know to eat grass when they aren’t feeling well.  And at what point do we realize we are doing it and stop it.

After thinking about this for a few minutes it dawned on me that I used this skill as recently as that same freaking hour!  Unbelievable!  My beautiful wife was getting on my case for the shotty paint job I did cutting-in on the walls at our new house.  Immediately I blamed it on the fact that I didn’t have the metal edge tool that I wanted to buy from Home Depot.  Then I deflected the blame over to the fact that I had taped it and the tape didn’t work.  Luckily my survival skills kicked in before I was able to shift the blame on her.

So why is it so blatantly obvious that my 7 year old is doing it, but oblivious to me that I am?  Anthony Robbins says it’s because everything we do in life is motivated by either avoiding pain or seeking pleasure.  Makes sense to me.

How do we stop it?  Bring it into the light.  Focus on it.  The next time you are backed into a corner try to recognize it and take responsibility.  In the above example I could have said “I’m sorry baby…I will try to put more effort into painting the next room”.

Now it’s your turn.  Think about how many fights will be stopped in their tracks if you start a new habit of accepting the blame.  For the next 14 days make it a personal challenge to seek out opportunities to accept the blame.  I’m positive that you will find some…well maybe not you Jesus…but the rest of us will.

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I don’t have time to workout…and 2 other excuses busted

Posted by Jeremy Paris on March 3, 2009

If you’re anything like me, your brain will find the easiest avenue to avoid something that you don’t want to do.   The trick is to recognize that you are making an excuse, and then make a CHOICE to follow through with the task that you know you should be doing. 

Here are 3 of my favorite excuses, along with their reality:

1. I don’t have time to workout today – The truth is you don’t have time to drive to the gym, and spend 30-45 minutes hitting the weights.  But if you want to stay on track and Bust this Excuse, do a set of push-ups to failure.  Not until you start to hurt, or until you feel like quitting, but until your body gives up and slams you to the ground.  I guarentee that this will take you under 3 minutes and will give your body the boost it needs until tomorrows real workout.  To make it even better, find one or two more lags in your day that you can repeat this.  Come on…it will only take you like 90 seconds, tops!

2. I don’t have time to workout today – How many times do you say “I’m late for work, so I don’t have time to brush my teeth today”?   Chances are you don’t say this.  Why?  Because you have prioritized brushing your teeth higher than being on time for work.  The same is true with working out.  If you put the same priority on working out, you would never miss a day from your routine.  Move something else off of your perceived “must do” list that day…like watching American Idol…or stopping at Fourbucks for a latte. 

3. And my favorite…I don’t have time to workout today– “No Jeremy, you don’t understand, I REALLY don’t have time today.  I have to leave from work, pick up the kids, go to square-dancing practice, and shave the family goat”.  Ok, I understand that you are busy…but how about leaving work 10 minutes early and skip the elevator.  Take the stairs up to the top floor, and then turn around and go down two flights.  Then go back up a flight and then back down two flights.  Continue this until you reach the bottom.  You can adjust this as you see fit depending on if you work in a 3 story building or a 300 story building.  No stairs?  Speedwalk around the building a couple of times before stopping at your car. 

The point here is to do SOMETHING.  Everything that you do in life is a choice.  If you are happy with your body, with your energy levels, and with your health then go ahead and make your excuse.  But if you aren’t satisfied with those things, then make the choice to change them.

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